What The Heck Was That?

Things That Go BUMP! In The Night begins like a gentle bedtime story—but quickly unravels into twisted humor and slapstick chaos.

This 32-page “kid’s picture book for adults” follows a father’s well-meaning—but misguided—effort to calm his child’s fear of the dark by telling increasingly outlandish stories of real-world bumps in the night that only affect grown-ups.

Intro:

“When I was a child, I was easily scared.

In bed, in the dark, I was never prepared.

So I’d cover my ears with my blankets held tight

against things that went BUMP! in the night.

As a grown-up, I find that I no longer shrink

from creaky old heaters or drips in the sink,

nor what’s in the closet or under the bed,

but what goes on out in the wide world instead.

So let’s go outside and see what we hear.

Is it something imagined or real that we fear?

As long as we’re careful, we should be alright

around things that go BUMP! in the night...”

"This guy’s loading baggage while still half awake, and wanders too close to the engine’s intake.
The pilots don’t notice while prepping for flight the sound that goes SHLUNK! in the night."
(Airport accident)
"That odor he smelled? It was natural gas. He struck up a match and ignited a blast.
His flashlight was out, so the option felt right. Now a loud KABOOOOM! shatters the night."
(Gas Leak)
"Between termites that feasted year after year on posts that supported the dance party pier
and sharks that will now enjoy each tasty bite, sounds of “OM NOM NOM NOM!” fill the night."
(Ocean pier collapse)
"While out nighttime skiing, this guy did not see what looked like a mogul instead was a tree.
The joy of his flight through this snowscape of white was cut short by a THWUMP! in the night."
(Skiing accident)

Visually, the book uses silhouette as a storytelling device and a limited color palette. These purposeful limits lend themselves well to the concept of “perilous predicaments in the dark”. Think: Shel Silverstein meets Edward Gorey meets Saturday morning cartoons.